*gasps*
i've become a monthly blogger now... sigh.. the thing is, that's the way i am.. i pick something up... and then it is new and very exciting.. and after time, it gets neglected... why o why??
having a really tough week... started taking on responsibilities at work... rather stressful considering i'm not talented with numbers... having problems with paul AGAIN... wonder what he's thinking sometimes.. wonder what he's up to.. wonder why i subject myself to such torture... wonder why i can't just let it go and move on knowing that things are not gonna change.. that he needs another girl who would be able to take this destructive behaviour.. and to know that the Lord has something better in store for me if i would just let go and stop hogging my life... maybe i'm afraid that i'd be letting go of something wonderful... he IS wonderful... just perhaps not wonderful for me... i mean there are so many things about him that i absolutely adore... but how about the things that seem so wrong? how about attitudes that negate the good that he exudes? Lord, please have mercy and show me the way... teach me how to trust in Your good will and know that nothing i'm gonna do is gonna thwart your plans for my life... i'm sorry Lord for having lost focus... please help me to set my eyes on You again...