Vanity of vanities, all is vanity...
Having one of those decidedly depressed days about life... as did King Solomon in his time...
Work is one of those things that creep under your skin and infect your soul when it can... Work's mundane, and meaningless... but yet exciting and pulsating... at the end of the day, what/who exactly am I contributing to? Whose life have I made the better as a result of my work? How have i glorified the Lord that little bit more? How have i grown today? What have i learnt about myself? Whose life have i blessed? Have i emerged with a stronger faith? More knowledge of the Lord and His word? More prayerful? More dependent on the Lord?
On the flip side, I've closed another deal, made another winning proposal, given another fashion statement, engaged in a better negotiation, found another way to carry my green bag... these are all achievements worthy of accholade by the world (maybe not my green bag, but i love it!)... but yet it leaves you feeling empty... filled with self, but empty...
Lord, wherein lies the meaning of life? I wish i was teaching mentally handicapped children, or helping autistic children get in touch with life, wish i was a missionary doctor, able to save lives and provide aid to citizens of the third world country, wish i was a against-racial-discriminatory acts lawyer, making sure that people were treated right, wish i could win people to the Lord, tell them the good news, save a soul, work in an elderly home, a childrens' home, talk to people whom no one wants to talk to... will there be more meaning for my life? will i be able to justify my existence a little more?
That's the issue with quarter-life crises, there are a million ideals and not one is realistic... or is it? food for thought... don't want the next quarter of my life to count for as little as the first quarter of my life...
Friday, June 17, 2005
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1 comment:
Your life counts for much. Don't think its fair to look at your first quarter and blame yourself for not having done visibly great things. You have done great things in your lifetime. You have blessed many! You've been a wonderful testimony to countless number of people! You've blessed the lives of many... and I... I am one of them.
Don't trivialise what your life means to date based on even Christian ideals. They are ideals. What about the lady with only 2 silver coins? Or the prostitute by the well? Do their lives count for little?
You've been a real blessing to me... and I hope you won't trivialise the impact you've made on me, and how much you mean to me. :)
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