Steadfastness

steadfast
adj 1: marked by firm determination or resolution; not shakable; "firm convictions"; "a firm mouth"; "steadfast resolve"; "a man of unbendable perseverence"; "unwavering loyalty" [syn: firm, steady, unbendable, unfaltering, unshakable, unwavering] 2: firm and dependable especially in loyalty; "a steadfast ally"; "a staunch defender of free speech"; "unswerving devotion"; "unswerving allegiance" [syn: staunch, unswerving]

A seemingly simple word, but highly profound in application...

One of the resolutions I brought away from the YAG retreat was to learn to be steadfast. You see, I'm a flighty person by nature. And most times, this flighty-ness permeates every level and area of my life, even and especially in spiritual things.... i wanna learn french, learn jap, ballroom dance, jazz dance, play the violin, take up the cello, work, study, gym, laze, spend time with people, spend time alone, design, travel and everything (and i mean EVERYTHING!) all at the same time... I have no consideration for the amount of time required, the amount of commitment required for each... or the pure irony of the things i wanna do, put together all at the same time... basically i'm clueless...

looking back on my short life, there are many things that were taken up that were abandoned mid-way... e.g. piano lessons (took up to grade 5 in P6 and used PSLE as excuse to quit), ballet lessons (mum said i'd be flat chested if i continued with it, scary at that age! p5!), F maths (could have made it in JC but was just plain lazy), Masters in Strategic Management (once again, decided in an instant i wanted to do it, then decided in an instant that i didn't want to)... i'm sure there are more... but these are the major ones... (of course there is the inconsistency in blogging)

highlighting my inadequacies in the first entry in 2 months may seem like a very depressing thing to do... but i have yet hope!

isn't this amazing? i love clouds! all types of clouds...

there is hope! *nods determinedly* i shall begin with small things... like blogging... and then i can move on to other things that are more major... ultimately, steadfastness is much needed in life... how else will I make friends? and be a friend? how else will the important things in life be achieved? like a stronger faith, and a steadfast heart that follows after the Lord...

i must not give up... if you are reading this, hold me to it! :)

till next... ciao bella...